


I lost my son

by WolfKomoki



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 11:29:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13950636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfKomoki/pseuds/WolfKomoki
Summary: Henry Allen was staring out at a mountain retreat when he receives a phone call. Barry Allen had committed suicide. He'd lost his wife, his reputation, his job, and now he's lost his son. Why was this world so cruel?





	I lost my son

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kr1411](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kr1411/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Legs (Alternate Ending)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11374116) by [Kr1411](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kr1411/pseuds/Kr1411). 



> Hey guys, before you get into this, you should know that this is a companion fic to a fic by Kr1411 called Legs (Alternate Ending). If you haven't read that fic, then this fic by itself won't make much sense to you. Kr1411 said that they didn't want to write Henry's reaction to losing Barry so I decided to write his reaction. That being said, The Flash is owned by The CW.

         Henry was staring out at the mountain retreat before him when he feels his phone start vibrating in his pocket. Frowning, he grabs his phone to see that Joe was calling. Henry was starting to worry. Barry hadn't called him since Christmas. He answers the phone, and that's when he hears sobbing on the other end.

         "Joe? What's the matter? Why are you crying?" Henry asks.

         " _Henry, it's Barry. He's… he's gone._ " Joe sobs. Henry's eyes widened.

         "Joe, what are you _talking_ about? What do you _mean_ he's gone?" He asks.

         " _Henry… Barry's dead. He's dead… and it's all my fault._ " Joe sobs.

         "He's dead? What the hell do you _mean_ he's dead?" Henry shouts.

         " _Henry… he… Barry killed himself_." Joe answers. Henry's heart breaks at those words.

         " _No_! How? _How_ did he do it?" Henry asks, his voice hitching in his throat.

         " _He jumped… off a fifty-foot cliff_." Joe answers. Henry's heart almost stops. He should have known that something was wrong when Barry stopped calling him. He should have gone down to Central City to check up on him. He should have called him. Henry wants to cry, he wants to shout, but he can't. He has to be strong for Joe. He'd do all that later.

         "When is the funeral?" He asks. God, he shouldn't even be saying these words right now! Barry was supposed to outlive _him_ , he wasn't supposed to outlive Barry. It's not right!

         " _I'm sorry Henry, it was last Friday._ " Joe apologizes. Henry's blood boils at that statement.

         "You mean to tell me, that my son was _buried in the ground_ last Friday, and no one bothered to invite me to his _funeral_? I had a right to _bury my son_!" He shouts. Angry tears poured from his eyes.

         " _I'm sorry Henry, but we didn't know where you were, or how to contact you._ " Joe apologizes. Henry throws his phone at the wall, in tears. He was numb, absolutely numb. He was going to go down to Central City in two days to see Barry. He was going to ask him to come live with him, and now he'll never get to. Joe's words still haunt him, though. What did he mean it was his fault?

         Why didn't he realize that when Barry said that it was okay if he left, that he really didn't _mean it_? Why couldn't he see that he was hurting? Why couldn't he see that his son _needed him_? He frowns when he sees that he'd broken his phone. Barry had given it to him as a gift when he freed him.

         He collapses to his knees and sobs. He'd lost his wife, his reputation, his job, and now he's lost his son. Why was this world so _cruel_? He still can't believe that Barry killed himself. What could have pushed Barry to do this? He doesn't understand. Henry wasn't aware of how long he'd been on the floor until his legs went numb. He grabs the leg of a chair, slowly pulling himself up from the floor. He grabs each chair, shoving them to the floor. He starts breaking anything he can get his hands on, screaming at the top of his lungs, in grief.

         He could've called Barry when he stopped calling him. He could've gone down to Central City. He could've never left in the first place. He could've asked Barry if he was sure he was okay with him leaving. God, how was he supposed to go on with life knowing that he _outlived_ his son?

         He returns to Central City about a week later, to find a memorial statue for the Flash. He goes down to the cemetery, and that's when he walks over to Barry's grave, putting white lilies in the vase.

         "Hey slugger." Henry says to Barry's grave. He frowns. He shouldn't be in front of Barry's grave right now. Barry should have been the one to bury him, _not_ the other way around.

         "I brought you some white lilies." He sighs. He strokes the letters of the grave. Barry's name, birth date, and death date were on the headstone. He starts reading the eulogy for Barry. _Barry Allen, a wonderful man, friend, and hero_.

Tears pour from his eyes as he reads it.

"Why didn't you _call me_ when you were hurting? I would have been there for you." He asks. He sees some Flash action figures on the stand of the headstone. Of course, _of course_ they had to tell everyone that he was the Flash. He sees several drawings from children in the pile. Of course the children here would put things on their favorite hero's grave. He hates this, he hates that Barry's grave isn't private, he hates that _this_ is the way that they found out about him.

He'll never hear Barry's voice again. He'll never hear him laugh. He'll never meet his grandchildren. He'll never see Barry marry the person that he loves. Barry will never get to be a father, a husband. Barry was hurting, and he never even knew. He collapses on the grass, and sobs. _I lost him. I lost him. I lost my son. Why had I never sensed that something was wrong? Why had I never called? Why did I never come to Central City to check on him?_

Henry jumps when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks up to see Joe looking down at him.

"I'm so sorry Henry. I _knew_ something was wrong, but I never talked to him about it." Joe apologizes as he helps him up.

"You knew something was _wrong_ , and you didn't do anything?" Henry asks. He's really trying not to yell at Joe, but it's hard.

"I saw those bandages on his wrists, but I never found the right moment to talk to him about them, and now? Now it's too late." Joe says, his voice breaking. Henry sighed. He knew what Barry was like. He'd rather keep the fact that he was hurting a secret, instead of asking for comfort.

 


End file.
